Life

You sit there at the end of this movie stunned… at just how bad and predictable it was. It is almost as if they just gave up as they realized what they had and edited it down to something approximating a good space-horror film before sending it out into the world to survive, or not.

It starts off promisingly enough. There is some light humor (thank you Ryan Reynolds [Deadpool]) near the top that suggests a good direction. There are nods to Alien in what is probably the best shot of the film from the opening sequence; what you think are titles turn out to be something else which is then followed by the title slate which does resemble the Alien logo. They knew what they had was a copy. But still, that is no excuse to have no characters… and I mean none. Characters are indicated, clichés put in place, and dialogue spoken that suggest actual individuals exist in this movie, but they don’t.

And if they did, allow me to state unequivocally they are all too bloody stupid to live. The number of obvious dumb decisions beggars imagination. Worse, no one, other than Rebecca Ferguson (The Girl on the Train) and Olga Dihovichnaya, appear to even know the ultimate risks and protocols that they signed up for.

Life never deserved the CPR that got it to screen after bouncing around the schedule. Despite some small attempts at biology, the Reese\Wernick script is embarrassing and worries for me for Deadpool 2, which they are also writing. However it does explain why Reynolds got all the good lines.

OK, to be fair, I’ve seen way worse in theater (yes, I speak of you Resident Evil: Final Chapter), but my expectations were a bit higher. An intelligent script alone would have helped. At least the f/x were good and no one was truly bad in their roles. I trusted the cast, which also included Jake Gyllenhaal (Nocturnal Animals) and Hiroyuki Sanada (Mr. Holmes), and Ariyon Bakare (Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norell); but despite completely committing to the tale, they couldn’t Spackle-over the gaping holes and bad choices.  But that is about as much as there is to recommend here.

Skip this. Don’t even bother to rent it. I had gone knowing it was a shadow of a shade of an idea, but had no clue it was going to be so bad.

Life

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